Authenticity and Self Esteem

I want to talk today about the subject of Authenticity since a lot of my work is centred around helping people connect to what I call their real selves. As it stands, so few of us actually are connecting to our true selves.

We have grown up in a world of conditioning where we start to think we are what the world tells us we are, or what the world expects us to be. We try hard to meet all the expectations and goals, yet in the end, we still feel empty and purposeless. Why is this so?

It is simply because we have lost touch with our soul, that is the authentic you. In my online course, I have shared with you in detail, how to really uncover the blueprint of the authentic you, the map that carries the codes to your unlimited potential, success, well-being and fulfilment. Here, I want to share with you a little bit of how self esteem and authenticity are associated.

“Having low self-esteem, is like driving through life, with hand breaks on. You can’t really get far, no matter how much effort you put.” – Maxwell Maltz

A wise person once told me that our self-esteem has much to do with, what our parents thought of us when we were young. I have found this principle of understanding to be powerful and defining for my own life, and for many others. As adults we have the power to regain our self-esteem, by understanding and connecting with our authentic self, the only way to unshakable self-esteem.

What most people do not know is that much of our sense of self is formulated in our childhood when we don’t have the consciousness levels to really understand ourselves. We believe everything our parents, society, and peers tell us. The work we need to do as adults is finding out what our truth is and what it is we stand for. This self-knowledge, the realisation of who and what we really are, is the only true source of self-esteem. Here is a little secret:

 ‘Every time we act in alignment with our authentic self, we add to our self-esteem. Every time we take an action or make a choice that is out of alignment with our authentic self, we erode our self -esteem.’ – Jasrin Singh

While the subject of self esteem is complex, and requires work on multiple facets, here I share with you small ways in which you can start to boost your self esteem.

3 Tips on increasing your self esteem

1. Learn to say No – So often, we say yes when we really don’t want to. If we have grown up in Asian cultures, this tendency is even more pronounced. Your friend wants to have a drink, you are tired but you say yes. Your manager asks you to do a ton of work on the weekend, and you are already overwhelmed but you still say ok. This is because we fear disapproval, and in so doing loose our self-esteem. What we don’t realise is that the cost of saying yes, when we should really say No, is very high for our personal well-being and self-esteem.
2. Make a small commitment and stick to it – We make so many resolutions, and time and time again we fail to live up to them. This creates a toxic cycle of mistrust with our inner being. The way to build trust with yourself and gain confidence and self-esteem, is make promises that you can keep – both to yourself and to others. With each promise and commitment met, your soul will rejoice and commend you, and slowly you will learn to trust yourself. When you trust yourself you naturally have high self-esteem.
3. Practice self-love and self-compassion – This is the simplest idea, but to internalise it takes significant effort. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and be kind to yourself. If the inner critic is going to bash me up for not doing something well, I would rather not try at all! This is the basis of procrastination, and I will talk more about that in another post. Replace the inner critics voice by telling yourself, that let’s do this, and no matter what happens I will still love you unconditionally. This will give you the confidence to try new things and break out of your comfort zone. With every new thing accomplished your self-esteem and confidence will skyrocket. Real learning only occurs when we take action and do something!

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Photo by Alysha Rosly on Unsplash