The Power of an Understated Word – Interest

Jasrin Singh is an executive and life coach, a guide, and a consultant with a positive, reflective, and unique approach towards life and issues that concern even the most discerning and sharp minds today. She has a clear, introspective, and inspiring take on everyday situations that we face, but fail to manage appropriately in the absence of appropriate guidance. We are thankful to Jasrin Singh as she agreed to share with us her exceptionally valuable insights on some aspects of daily life. Often we use words or handle matters in way, that we miss what’s most important, and – advertently or inadvertently, dissipate chances to make real progress and create deep meaningful connections. Here she speaks to us about the word “interest” … She wonders how easily and casually we say, “I am interested in this or that …” without contemplating the real, deeper meaning and spirit of a simple concept like interest.

We so often use the word interested in quite a casual manner. “I am interested in going for an event”, or “I am interested in pursuing a degree”, or even “I am interested in going for a date”.

I want to take this opportunity to go a bit deeper with this word – Interest – the one that is defined in the dictionary as “the feeling of wanting to know or learn about something or someone”.

Have you ever had a moment when you realised that someone you were talking to, was really interested in what you were saying? How does/ did that feel?

Interest and Professional Success

One of the most important skills of a coach is “listening” – miracles happen for clients when they are truly listened to and feel heard. One feels truly listened to only when another/ the listener is truly interested in your story, and who you are. This is what differentiates great coaches from the average. The great coaches are interested in you, they are interested in your growth, in your expansion. You are not just a business revenue generator; they deeply and genuinely care for you.

“To be interested in” is the way to love, passion and purpose. When my clients talk to me about their jobs, and how they are doing fine but still feel an emptiness, I simply ask them – Are you genuinely interested in what you do? Or are you doing it for the paycheck or to support the family. Let me clarify that working for a paycheck, or to support your loved ones are not invalid reasons to work. Meeting our basic needs is imperative to our preservation. Working to meet our basic needs is not enough however, to draw genius or achieve extraordinary levels of excellence at what you do.

The difference between top performers and the mediocre is simply a difference in “interest”. Those who perform well in what they do, do so because they are also keenly interested in their subject of work. Interest is desire, interest is passion, interest is curiosity, interest inspires growth and expansion. With interest comes a field of energy signified by those words that carry a high frequency. These high frequency attributes when activated motivate the human spirit.

So when working with an executive or life coach, one of the fundamental questions you should seek to answer is – What is interesting to me in my field of work? Which areas of work actually interest me vs which area of work can I think (from my mind alone) that I can get maximum growth. The same pathway that works for one, in not necessarily going to work for you, even if you follow the exact steps, unless of course you have the same levels of interest in that particular area of work.

Interest and Relationship Success

Now let’s consider the role of interest in relationships. If you have ever had a conversation with someone who is genuinely interested in what you had to say, you know the feeling of validation you get from that experience. When a person is interested in you, he/she makes you feel wanted, makes you feel like you matter, something all human beings seek.

In case, you were brought up by parents who did not display an interest in you when you were younger, getting that in adulthood becomes even more important, and you go about seeking that in your relationships. Because feeling like we matter, is our divine birth right.

As a relationship coach, we talk about knowing your partners love maps, which is about being interested in the partner’s world. If your partner does not display a genuine interest in you or your world, there will invariably be a strain in the relationship. There be lack of intimacy and love because the precursor to love, which is interest is missing. You cannot actually truly love someone if you are not interested in them.

This interest is important not only for your love relationship, but also for any other kind of meaningful connection at work or socially.

Next time, you are considering which relationships are important and empowering for you, think about whether the other person is genuinely interested in you/ your world. And ask yourself the same question about some of your relationships – Am I genuinely interested in this person? And then declutter and detox those relationships. It will create space for more meaningful relationships to emerge. Ones that serve and inspire both parties.

Note: Interest may also be driven by greed or jealousy. This kind of interest is obviously toxic, and is not rewarded in the larger scheme of things. Here we are concerned with interest of a higher order value, the one that is a precursor to love, passion and purpose.