Why HEROISM is an Outdated Ideal

Heroism has a long-standing insinuation of something valiant and superior – a heroic state of being, is something we all strive for. The endeavor to be heroic is perceived as making good use of our potential and gaining the prize at the end of all our efforts The vast amounts of heroic stories and movies have literally conditioned us into believing that heroism is our natural state of being and entirely plausible.

I am here laying down the opposite perspective. Let go of trying to be heroic and choose authenticity instead!

Since I work in the field of personal transformation and receive insights about both myself and clients, , I find  that our  persistent effort to be perceived as heroiccreates one of our greatest obstacles to living a life that we truly desire. Trying to be heroicgets in the way of being your authentic self, the only way to lead a fulfilling and meaningful life.

I would call ‘heroism’ then is an act of the ego – We want to be acknowledged, lauded for our brilliance, for our intelligence, for our courage, for our grit and determination by others, and therein lies the problem. The moment we need something from the outside of us, it means that we are not giving it to ourselves. In striving to receive all the above from others, we compromise on our own authentic self. We allow people to step on our boundaries, because we want to be ‘nice’to others. We fear saying ‘NO’” even when the burdens we carry are more than enough – for fear of being seen as weak. We compromise on our value system, to achieve the success that would bring us the laurels, and we convince ourselves, that by doing all of these things we are being heroic.We start a project, a company, or simply a new job, and start dreaming of all the adulation we will receive once we get to success. We want to prove ourselves to the world, to the naysayers, to the ones who did not believe in us etc We burden ourselves with all these expectations we have of ourselves, and when we miss the mark, the mark that the ego set out for us  – we get very upset with ourselves for not proving ourselves the heroes and saviors of the world.

Heroism then is one of the least known tricks that the ego plays on us.

Authenticity over Heroism

Choosing authenticity over heroism has rewards far greater than anything your ego will have you believe. Being authentic means, knowing yourself – both your strengths and limitations, knowing how to be kind and loving to yourself, and most of all knowing your value system and sticking to it. It does not mean not pursuing goals, rather, it means knowing with clarity why those goals are important and if they serve you long term. When you learn all of the above, you know how to protect your boundaries, you recognize yourself as fundamentally human, and therefore fallible and vulnerable. Being fallible and vulnerable, you let go of idyllic dreams of being a ‘hero’”. You choose instead to do your work, and live life with a sense of humility. You choose to let your values of commitment, focus, achievement – or whatever they may be guide your decisions, and forward movement. You do what you do and relieve yourself of all the false expectations and burdens, that come with a desire to be heroic. The freedom from trying to be heroic unleashes great amounts of creative and productive energy, which is otherwise enmeshed in worrying about what others will think of you, if you don’t prove your heroism.

There is a Zen saying,’ Before enlightenment- carrying wood, fetching water. After enlightenment, carrying wood-fetching water.’ There is great depth and meaning in those simple lines if properly explored.

In conclusion:

Let go of trying to be a Super man or Super woman, and allow yourself to be just Hu man instead 😊